Eventually gave up on Heroku buildpacks, I'm trying other hosts.
A Heroku buildpack to figure out what the fuck is going on up there.
I'm using it like this:
$ heroku buildpacks:list | grep multi
ddollar/multi
vizify/multi
$ heroku buildpacks:set vizify/multi # <-- this buildpack assumes you're using nodejs, btw, so is completley untenable for its purpose
Modifying BUILDPACK_URL for turingschool-moi... done
$ cat .buildpacks
https://github.com/JoshCheek/heroku-buildpack-fuck-everything.git
https://github.com/JoshCheek/heroku-buildpack-for-cmake-and-pkg-config.git
https://github.com/heroku/heroku-buildpack-ruby.git
$ git commit -m 'Empty commit so I can push to Heroku again' --allow-empty
[master 76c99a4] Empty commit so I can push to Heroku again
# output snipped to just show what this outputs and hide maybe sensitive values
$ git push heroku master:master
[SNIP]
-----> Fetching custom tar buildpack... done
-----> Multipack app detected
=====> Downloading Buildpack: https://github.com/JoshCheek/heroku-buildpack-fuck-everything.git
=====> Detected Framework: FuckEverything
The fuck everything script
AKA what the fuck is going on up there, Heroku?
________________________________________
ENV:
{"DEPLOY"=>"production",
"DYNO"=>"receive.9742",
"GROUP"=>"production",
"HOME"=>"/app",
"LOGNAME"=>[SNIP],
"LOGPLEX_URL"=>"https://east.logplex.io/logs",
"LOG_TOKEN"=>[SNIP],
"MAIL"=>[SNIP],
"OLDPWD"=>"/app/tmp/repo.git",
"PATH"=>
":/tmp/codon/vendor/bin:/app/bin:/usr/ruby1.9.2/bin:/usr/local/bin:/usr/local/sbin:/usr/bin:/bin:/usr/sbin:/sbin",
"PWD"=>"/tmp/buildpackIr1dt",
"REQUEST_ID"=>[SNIP],
"SHELL"=>"/bin/bash",
"SHLVL"=>"2",
"SSH_CLIENT"=>[SNIP],
"SSH_CONNECTION"=>[SNIP],
"STACK"=>"cedar",
"USER"=>[SNIP],
"_"=>"/tmp/buildpackIr1dt/bin/compile"}
________________________________________
ARGV:
["/tmp/build_126e18e7-16dd-49c7-b77c-bc7ff6b6122f", "/app/tmp/cache", "/tmp/d20140912-317-t1s0je"]
Files in "/tmp/build_126e18e7-16dd-49c7-b77c-bc7ff6b6122f"
"example.gif"
"Rakefile"
"Gemfile.lock"
"lib"
"Procfile"
".buildpacks"
"Readme.md"
"config.ru"
".gitignore"
".profile"
"spec"
"features"
"Gemfile"
Files in "/app/tmp/cache"
".bundle"
"vendor"
"cedar"
Files in "/tmp/d20140912-317-t1s0je"
"RACK_ENV"
"BUILDPACK_URL"
"LANG"
________________________________________
Values of files in ARGV[2] aka /tmp/d20140912-317-t1s0je
RACK_ENV:
production
BUILDPACK_URL:
https://codon-buildpacks.s3.amazonaws.com/buildpacks/vizify/multi.tgz
LANG:
en_US.UTF-8
________________________________________
STDIN:
""
[SNIP]
LICENSE:
DO WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT TO PUBLIC LICENSE
TERMS AND CONDITIONS FOR COPYING, DISTRIBUTION AND MODIFICATION
0. You just DO WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT TO.