TBH, I don't even know where to start with this one. I made a copy of the code (available at Google's collab) and just started plugging in a frick ton of data.

All I really had to do is download a BUNCH of my old writing (journal entries, short stories, longer stories, etc, etc) and convert them into .txt files. That was all fun and dandy, but I got bored with that because I've only done so much writing in the past (AKA a lot but when it comes to this, there isn't actually a lot to work with), so I started getting creative.

Other Data I Used:

• My text messages with my friend, Alison
• My college application essays (oh no)
• Troye Sivan songs

Pulling data actually took some time because I'm not actually too familiar with data mining. Text messages were the hardest to pull just because I couldn't access my message archives (curse my old computer), so I had to copy things directly into a PDF and read from there. Troye Sivan songs were also a (fun) challenge. I ended up just pulling data directly from links. Thank GOD a-z lyrics has consistent formatting.

Of course, the first thing I had to do was ask GPT what its name was (GPT allows you to set a prefix, so I set it to "My name is"). This is what it said:

"My name is Allama and I am the self-taught french horn. Allama is tall and she lives in Boston."

I'm not sure if GPT really thinks its name is Allama or if it had just picked up "a llama" from somewhere, but I'll go with it. Her name is Allama now. I'm also not quite sure how you can teach yourself to be a french horn, but Allama's one step ahead of me, I guess.

The next important thing to ask Allama is, of course, the secret to life. And the secret to happiness. Sometimes Allama makes sense:

"The secret of life is to enjoy it and sometimes you just have the peace and security of a normal person."

"The secret of life is to enjoy it, rather than to learn about it."

"The secret of life is not in the statistics. It is in the ways we think. We are, as a species, incapable of thinking things through. How do we make sense of this? By understanding how to deal with it. By knowing how to treat it."

"The secret to happiness is to practice kindness and not to become a monster."

Sometimes, Allama's kind of an asshole:

"The secret of life is to be open and honest. So I want to ask you these questions: 1) Do you have a B in chem? Or do you have a C? Or do you have a D? Or do you have a E? Or do you have a F? 2) Do you live in a house? Or do you live in a w y I do live (in my imagination) I dont know? So do you have a job? Or do you have a job that pays less than what I get your money for free? How much do you get forliving? How many hours do you have? How many minutes are an hour? 3) Do you work? Youre only human. Youre lazy. Youre kind of like a pig. Youre kind of like a dog. Youre kind of broke. Youre in a bad mood. Seriously. Shut up. I want you to do all the work for me. Theres 160 hours of work. Thats only enough to support a single kid. Im doing all the homework. Theres the red carpet. Theres the awards show. Theres the BAF stars. Theres all this drama going on. Huh."

Dang.

Allama also is sometimes so ridiculous I just have to laugh. I wasn't really expecting much while going into this, but wow.

"Did you see the puppy? It was kind of dog friendly. Its not really a HUMAN LET IT GO puppyishishishishishishishish so its not that bad. I feel like its more like a DEATHLY THING."

"Midterms are next week, so I have to make up all of the bills PLUS have to carry my horn when I get back from the mainland, which is around this time next month."

"And my brother. He was also a really annoying child. He was always saying the same things over and over. I used to just be like, Oh, he did this thing with his mind that he did not use"

"I mean, your senses isnt perfect, and you can move a little, but youre still a strong person, and you can move like a deer in a headlights, and that [redacted] deer isnt afraid of you."

"My name is Esha, and I am the seventh card in the history of the Star Wars universe. I have a B in science. The [redacted]? At this point?"

She didn't actually say [redacted]. I put that in. :)

Other times, though, Allama can be kind of poetic? Kind of?

"Stevens smile was back, sharp edges that screamed of wood and metal. And he said it so passionately that Steven could barely hear it crackling around his hands. It was like he was holding it there, willing it to fly and explode."

"Love is so important. It lets us know that there are people living in the city, and that they can help us if we have allergies or if we sneeze, and that we need to take a breath, and that we cant breathe in the mornings. It helps to have a social life instead of a house."

"Love is so hard to measure. It looks like my finger is on the goddamn scales. And I guess theyre going to steal it from me and make me a slave for life."

Allama has mixed feelings about love.

What I find most fascinating about Allama is that she was able to pick up on the complete insanity with which I text my friends. Instantly. I don't know if that says more about me or about her, but here's a few of the (concerning) conversations she generated for me.

"[redacted] wholesome i live by this gormless smile"

"are you really whoelsome"

"am in elation"

"i had a 102nd overall pick (at this point it's a scratch) and 48 hours of sleep have barely made me vegetables"

"[redacted] yeah: ancillary"

"I mean if you're not busy do you guys"
"spyder?"

And then my favorite:

"that cricket is in here"
"explain"
"it's a good one"

I'm not going to get into the rest of the results at this point because honestly:

1. I'm not posting my college apps on my GitHub lol
2. Allama just ended up spitting back Troye Sivan's lyrics word for word. I tried my best, Troye. Sorry :(

So there ends my weekend journey! I'm not sure what I got out of this besides a laugh and a tidbit of knowledge about R, but that's fine. It was hilarious.