A series of fortune files containing quotes from popular television programs. The majority of these quotes have been parsed from Wikiquote. These quotes have been rated TV-14 and may contain coarse language, suggestive dialogue, violence, and use of drugs or alcohol. Please consult your V-Chip owners manual for instructions on how to block this and other offensive content.

Files have been checked and edited for consistency but some formatting errors may still be present. Rest assured, our team is dilligently assessing these issues and will update as necessary.

• 3rd Rock From The Sun
• 30 Rock
• The A-Team
• Archer
• Arrested Development
• Batman
• Batman - The Animated Series
• Beavis & Butt-head
• Bob's Burgers
• The Boondocks
• Curb Your Enthusiasm
• Dilbert
• Drawn Together
• Firefly
• Frisky Dingo
• Futurama
• Generation Kill
• Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law
• Home Movies
• It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia
• King Of The Hill
• Look Around You
• Lucy: Daughter of the Devil
• Mad Men
• Malcolm In The Middle
• Metalocalypse
• Monty Python's Flying Circus
• Moral Orel
• Mr. Show
• Mystery Science Theater 3000
• Newsradio
• The Office (US)
• Parks and Recreation
• Peep Show
• QI
• Rick and Morty
• Robot Chicken
• Rocko's Modern Life
• Saturday Night Live
• Scrubs
• Sealab 2021
• Seinfeld
• The Simpsons
• The Sopranos
• South Park
• Squidbillies
• The Wire
• Trailer Park Boys
• The Twilight Zone
• The Venture Brothers
• Workaholics
• The X-Files
• The Young Ones

• Wrap lines to 80 characters for cleaner terminal output
• Check all fortunes for errors (I already know there are a few lurking)
• Standardize certain punctuation marks (such as ellipses...)
• Find a good source for Reno 911! quotes (this is one of the few shows where Wikiquotes was lacking in decent content)