What do you want?

Now that we have projects involving money and are switching to accrual accounting, we need to actually actualize accurate accrual accounting.

Since we have SUPER SECRET CONNECTIONS we can get a discount on CLOUD ACCOUNTING SOFTWARE so it costs $25 a month.

That may sound like a lot but BOY is it a bargain. How much of a bargain? I'm pretty sure so much that I'm not allowed to tell you. Anyway, please approve a $300 annual recurring expense so that we can afford to afford nice things.

When do you want it?

Now.

What will happen to it after you die?

The data will live on forever so that I can respond to IRS audits on BIFFUD's behalf for all eternety.

What is the value proposition, return on investment, corporate synergistic alignment, disruption impact? Will this move the needle, or amplify low hanging fruit?

Look, it's either this or an excel spreadsheet.

We are probably looking skeptical right now. Any other considerations?

We need this to be able to pay people money, including people like YOU.

Next Steps

Please attend the next scheduled BIFFUD plotting session to plead your case.

OKAY ROUND ONE

@slifty & @knowtheory try and get issues done to further the BIFFUD agenda.

BRING ON YOUR ISSUES.

I HEREBY INVOKE MY RIGHTS...

As described in section 11.11.B of the BIFFUD Corporate Bylaws I hereby invoke
my rights as a sentient being who has not uploaded their mind to the cloud for consideration of this project application by the BIFFUD Hive Mind. With this
application I submit my interest in becoming a Member of BIFFUD and having this
project supported and adored by all who can 🤔.

Project Information

• Project Name: SurroundSound

• Project Haiku:
  I left songs for you
  In the alley, by the trash
  Where we both belong

• Project Analogy: It's like Pokemon Go, but for music discovery

Project Description

The basic idea is that it's an AR experience/game where people encounter music 'in the wild' that is somehow tagged and geolocated to a particular place. I imagine that it's two-sided: you can both leave music for people and encounter music that other people have left. There's potentially a bit of a geocaching feel here, but also a bit like the end of Journey where other people are helping you get through your day // the bleakness of life. I think it would be cool to be walking through a place and have your phone buzz and there's some sort of song that's tagged to a location with some annotation from another user about why they left the song there for you.

I don't know if the songs fight you, like Pokemon go. Or fight each other.

Bylaw Questions

How is this project a bad idea?

You will get excited for lovely, cool, chic music and then find that everyone in your town keeps leaving the same six Nickleback songs everywhere unironically.

If this project were a D&D Character, what alignment would it be and why?

Alignment (CHOOSE ONE):

• Neutral Good

Where are the lulz?

Probably some good opportunities for unexpected song/place pairings.

How does this project make people thinking face emoji?

By causing them to ponder what is the relationship between music and place, and also to get FOMO/anxiety about not knowing how they always work together.

Who is involved?

[For each member...]
tbd

Who will be the project's Comptroller?

tbd

Is this realistic to implement via BIFFUD?

idk?

Next Steps

1. Attend the next scheduled BIFFUD plotting session to plead your case.
2. [List out your project plan here, in a series of steps]

How (often) will you be providing updates to the organization?

[Ideas are great, action is better! How often should we expect you
to be able to make progress? How would you like to report back]

As per #75 we're now using quickbooks!

we need to...

1. Document our accounting habits so that we all have a reasonable sense of what is going on.
2. Set up read accounts for all corporate overlords.

Describe your proposed change

Right now the bylaws allow the Overmind and Treasure Goblin to make purchases under $100 without corporate approval. We should adjust this clause to state that these funds must be allocated more generally ahead of time by the Hive Mind into a petty cash fund (and that the funds get unallocated at the first plotting session of the new year).

For example, at the beginning of the year the Hive Mind might allocate $300 for the petty cash fund.

Why. Why do you make us spend time thinking about this.

This would limit the potential liability to the company if the Overmind decides to buy a new container of cheese balls to eat every day, just as a random example.

When a fund is earmarked or allocated we need to ensure a few things are very explicitly defined:

1. What happens to extra funds
2. What is the exact dollar amount requested
3. What is the amount of time that we have to spend the funds as allocated.

We should provide guidance in the bylaws of how to handle cases when these things are not explicitly stated in the budget request.

For instance: funds with no term are added back to the general fund at the end of the calendar year (and need to be re-approved). Any funds that remain after an item has been purchased / a task has been accomplished will default to being given back to the general operating fund immediately after the task has been accomplished.

That kind of thing.

I HEREBY INVOKE MY RIGHTS...

As described in section 11.11.B of the BIFFUD Corporate Bylaws I hereby invoke
my rights as a sentient being who has not uploaded their mind to the cloud for consideration of this project application by the BIFFUD Hive Mind. With this
application I submit my interest in becoming a Member of BIFFUD and having this
project supported and adored by all who can 🤔.

Project Information

• Project Name: Suggested poems for Gmail
• Project Haiku:

gmail can suggest
bland responses, how about
a poem instead

• Project Analogy: Like Spotify for whimsy.

Project Description

The year is 2019. Human communication is reduced to clicking between three short phrases recommended by algorithms. One man dares to suggest lines of poetry instead. His weapon? A Chrome extension. His mission? Art, I guess.

Bylaw Questions

How is this project a bad idea?

Why on Earth would real people replace a useful part of their email app with an untrusted third party "extension" (whatever that is) that randomly shows lines of stilted, antiquarian poetry?

If this project were a D&D Character, what alignment would it be and why?

Chaotic Good

Where are the lulz?

Ever wanted to respond to spam with "From her brave face his glowing fires are beat?" A newsletter with "When, dear maid, I love thee, though I know thee not?" How about a receipt with "She herself a youthful rose?"

How does this project make people thinking face emoji?

It questions the unoriginality of pre-written language, and the paths pre-planned by algorithmic suggestions.

Who is involved?

• Name: Chris Zubak-Skees
• Twitter: @zubakskees
• Github ID: @chriszs
• Skillz: JavaScript
• Project role / expectations: developer
• Project stake: %10000 per cent

Who will be the project's Comptroller?

Money, what money?

Is this realistic to implement via BIFFUD?

I already did it.

Next Steps

1. Attend the next scheduled BIFFUD plotting session to plead your case.
2. Refine the suggestions.
3. Write a blog post?

How (often) will you be providing updates to the organization?

Every so often.

OVERLORD SPAWNING RITUAL CATALYST

As described in section 14.2.A of the BIFFUD Corporate Bylaws I hereby invoke
my rights as a sentient being who has not uploaded their mind to the cloud
for consideration for metamorphosis by the BIFFUD Hive Mind. With this
application I submit my interest in becoming a Corporate Overlord.

I understand that my application will not be considered without the submission
of an original creative work.

Candidate Information

• Full Name: Laura Olin
• Twitter Handle: @lauraolin
• Social Security Number (pick one): 21

Bylaw Questions

What the title of your biography?

Why Tho?

Ok, now write your biography?

I was born in Finland and I am a twin, so I'm a Finnish twin or a twinnish Finn. I grew up in the U.S. and have spent many years working in politics (Democratic) and making shit for the internet.

How will you submit your original creative work?

Github!

Survey

Why do you want to be a Corporate Overlord?

I would like to be part of a community of people who make weird internet shit so I can be part of more weird-internet-shit conversations.

Do you identify as a cis-hetero white man?

• [] Yes
• No
• [] I'm not sure you are legally allowed to ask that

Next Steps

Please attend the next scheduled BIFFUD plotting session to plead your case.

BIFFUD Project Application

As described in section 11.11.B of the BIFFUD Corporate Bylaws I hereby invoke my rights as a sentient being who has not uploaded their mind to the cloud for consideration of this project application by the BIFFUD Hive Mind. With this application I submit my interest in becoming a Member of BIFFUD and having this project supported and adored by all who can 🤔.

Project Information

• Project Name: Scriptchat
• Project Haiku:

all the world's a stage
and people, merely players
so why not slack too

• Project Analogy: It's like a screenwriter for your inane Internet chatter

Project Description

It takes something like this:

And makes it look like this:

On the surface, it looks like a relatively simple reformatting of chat output into a screenplay. However, the adaptation is much more sophisticated: many of the conventions of text chat must be translated, for instance, emoji reactions turn into stage direction. Threads turn into cuts. Timestamps can indicate whether there are long pauses in conversation or if many people are talking over each other. And if we can know how long someone takes to type a thing, it can be translated into something like CHARACTER is trying to formulate the words carefully.

Bylaw Questions

How is this project a bad idea?

It isn't. But I shopped it around to a lot of different producers and they all passed on it, so I need BIFFUD to greenlight this project so that my creative genius is finally recognized by the Academy.

If this project were a D&D Character, what alignment would it be and why?

Alignment:

• Chaotic Good
• Neutral Good
• Chaotic Neutral

Where are the lulz?

When we are able to hire actors to dramatically and emotionally re-enact, on stage, with props and blocking, the words of a bunch of nerds using their computers as a substitute for human interaction.

One application of this application is to enable distributed improv troupes to create hilarious scenes, which can then be showcased later by non-improv actors.

How does this project make people thinking face emoji?

🤔

Research suggests that that there is no such thing as a singular "true self" [citation needed], and that one's behavior instead subtly transforms when one is placed into different contexts, for various reasons, such as the desire to be accepted by a social group, or to attain status in one context but to remain unnoticed in another [citation needed]. When observing a person interacting with a particular social group, physical and behavioral cues, including posture, location and proximity to other persons, speech patterns, volume, gestures, and other interpersonal dynamics are signs of the role that this person plays within this group [citation needed]. As such, all real-life interaction are inherently performative [citation needed]. Yet, when these cues are stripped away, as in the case of a text-only medium like Internet chat, one's intended intonation and voice are obscured, and indeed the speaker is stripped of personality and performance [citation needed]. By interpreting the subtle cues that may be present in the act of typing itself, physical cues can be translated into stage direction for later re-enactment [citation needed]. Yet the multitudes of differing adaptions of the textual content of a play lends itself to a rich tapestry of interpretation, reminding us that all text, and perhaps even all physical and behavioral cues, are filtered through many lenses including that of the viewer, such that the "true self" of the original speaker may remain completely unknowable [citation needed].

Who is involved?

• Name: Lou Huang
• Twitter: @saikofish
• Github ID: @louh
• Skillz: front-end / design / product
• Project role / expectations: team captain
• Project stake: 1000% ownership of the project

...and you!

Who will be the project's Comptroller?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EnWG8PpHco&feature=youtu.be&t=1m11s

Is this realistic to implement via BIFFUD?

...sure

Next Steps

Please attend the next scheduled BIFFUD plotting session to plead your case.
This issue will be updated with application status and next steps.

BIFFUD Project Application

As described in section 11.11.B of the BIFFUD Corporate Bylaws I hereby invoke my rights as a sentient being who has not uploaded their mind to the cloud for consideration of this project application by the BIFFUD Hive Mind. With this application I submit my interest in becoming a Member of BIFFUD and having this project supported and adored by all who can 🤔.

Project Information

Project Name: The Emoji Compass
Project Haiku:

You ask the compass,
"How am I going to die?"
It answers, "🦉🍞."

Project Analogy: It's like an emoji Magic 8 ball for people who read the His Dark Materials trilogy

Project Description

The Dark Materials trilogy is centered around a "Golden Compass". Its official name is alethiometer, or "truth measure". The device is like a compass, in that it's the size of a pocketwatch and has needles that spin toward answers. Its face shows 36 symbols, each of which can represent 12+ ideas, concepts, or literal meanings.

To use the compass, the user sets the three needles to three symbols that frame the question she is posing, and then the alethiometer spins the needles to three symbols to provide a cryptic answer. This answer is truth, but must be carefully interpreted.

I would like to create a mobile app that replaces the 36 alethiometer symbols with emoji. The answers the app returns to users' queries will be almost completely random, but shrouded in the symbology of the novels, it'll be really hard to prove that.

There's an emoji equivalent for each symbol on the compass. (Twitter's open sourced emoji collection may do it, but is two years out of date, so we may need to purchase the license to use Emoji One's updated collection).

Bylaw Questions

How is this project a bad idea?

This project takes a beloved fantasy novel's central artifact and makes light of it with inane emojis. Furthermore, the logic behind the app's "truth-telling" will be fairly random, potentially opening us up to lawsuits when someone misinterprets their answer and does something stupid.

If this project were a D&D Character, what alignment would it be and why?

Rebel (chaotic good), because it "follows [its] own moral compass, which, although good, may not agree with that of society." Source http://easydamus.com/alignment.html.

Alignment:

• Chaotic Good
• Neutral Good
• Chaotic Neutral

Where are the lulz?

Fans of the Dark Materials books may actually enjoy having a Golden Compass app to play with, and the emoji symbols correctly set expectations for the nonsense answers we're likely to return.

How does this project make people thinking face emoji?

When the user asks the Emoji Compass a serious question, they will be provided a reply with a (unbeknownst to them) random array of emojis. The wide range of potential symbolistic interpretations will allow the user to infer meaning where there was none to begin with, not unlike reading into lyrics to a song, or the punchline of a New Yorker cartoon.

[Don't thinking face emoji too hard]

Who is involved?

Name: Matt Stempeck
Twitter: @mstem
Github ID: mstem
Skillz: HTML/CSS, making things popular on the internet
Project role / expectations: Ideally, work with a more skilled Corporate Overlord to drive the project to completion, then reach out to the Dark Materials fandom and media to promote the app.
Project stake: 50%

Name: Literally anyone else
Skillz: HTML / CSS / Javascript skills
Project role / expectations: Build out a basic circle of emojis that allow the user to select three, have it spin around a bunch, and then return three other random emojis.
Project stake: %50

Who will be the project's Comptroller?

Matt

Is this realistic to implement via BIFFUD?

Yes. This is a very simple app (mobile web app with PhoneGap wrappers). It will let us test the waters on building and launching something quickly. We can license the emoji we need for it.

Next Steps

Please attend the next scheduled BIFFUD plotting session to plead your case. This issue will be updated with application status and next steps.

BONUS: The 36 Emoji Compass symbols, as represented by emoji.
🐘
αΩ
😇
‎ 🐜
‎🍏
‎ 👶
‎🐝
‎🐦
‎🍞
‎ 🐮
‎🐫
‎🕯
‎🍲
🦎
‎💠
‎ ‎🎉
🐊
🐬
⚓
🌐
🦅
⛑️
🐎
⏳
🎸
🤱
🎎
🌕
🦉
🐍
☀
⚔️
⚡
‎🌳
🌹
👹

La Belle Sauvage 🛶

(The breastfeeding mother isn't appearing consistently yet but could be replaced by the woman emoji.)

BIFFUD Project Application

As described in section 11.11.B of the BIFFUD Corporate Bylaws I hereby invoke my rights as a sentient being who has not uploaded their mind to the cloud for consideration of this project application by the BIFFUD Hive Mind. With this application I submit my interest in becoming a Member of BIFFUD and having this project supported and adored by all who can 🤔.

Project Information

• Project Name: Zenmo
• Project Haiku:

My vow to you is
I will pay my debts in full
When the sun burns out

• Project Analogy: Zeno's Paradox + Venmo = Zenmo

Project Description

An abbreviated strawman history of transactions:
100 million years ago - i dunno, no money probably just dinosaur things
10 million years ago - still no money, speed this up
5000 years ago - Commodity money where the money itself has immediate perceived value (lame)
4000 years ago - Standarized coins (proto-bitcoins)
1000 years ago - Banknotes (bitpaper)
500 years ago - federalized banking
200 years ago - Construction of the Erie Canal begins
50 years ago - free floating fiat currencies
25 years ago - online banking
15 years ago - Paypal founded
8 years ago - Venmo founded, Bitcoin introduced
NOW - ZENMO

The history of interpersonal transactions has inexoriably moved towards faster, easier methods of settling debts. This has only accelerated with the integration of the internet and increases in computing power. However, this has left a massive opportunity - how can we provide slower, more frustrating, technically inaccurate, borderline unusable transactions to those who need them. Enter Zenmo.

To settle a debt, Zenmo first takes an equivalent amount in a cryptocurrency. Next, our algorithms split that value up into hundreds or even thousands of pieces. These pieces are distributed nonuniformly to encourage random intermittent reinforcement to maximize the amount of time engaged in the transaction. Then, these amounts are recorded into paper wallets which the receiving party must check individually to receive the full debt owed. Given the underlying volatility and non-stationarity of cryptocurrencies, by the time this transaction is completed the debt will almost assuredly not be paid to the correct amount. However, the debt should probabilistically be less than it was previously (though possibly have changed hands). To complete the debt, the debtor and debtee will switch back and forth until rounding errors occur or the debt is too small to be worth the hassle. As cryptocurrencies inexplicably have miniscule discretized values, any debt could continue to be Zenmo'd back and forth for years.

Zenmo: Pay your debts. Eventually.

Bylaw Questions

How is this project a bad idea?

Oh holy shit, lemme count the ways:

1. It dips BIFFUD's toes into the blockchain waters right after a rather dramatic drop of the value of crytocurrencies which makes this really terrible timing
2. Debts genuinely may never get settled. Haven't done the math yet, but depending on the number of pieces + smallest unit of cryptocurrency, it could potentially take anywhere from decades to millenia.
3. Huge waste of paper if somebody decided to actually print the dang wallets out
4. Transaction fees probably?
5. Can we call it Zenmo?
6. why

If this project were a D&D Character, what alignment would it be and why?

Alignment:

• [Chaotic Good]
• [Neutral Good]
• [Chaotic Neutral] (at best)

Where are the lulz?

1. I am betatesting this with my dues for becoming a Corporate Overlord
2. Why pay with a wheelbarrow of pennies when you can Zenmo?

How does this project make people thinking face emoji?

🤔

From the outset, my intention of this awful awful idea is to poke at a few well proffered beliefs: technological innovation is a monotonic force for good; cryptocurrencies are immune to failings that exist with other transfers of money; all interpersonal transactions must be quantified and exact; all debts must be settled as soon as capable; minimizing transactional friction is always desirable; electronic transfers are to be trusted fully, etc etc. A later version of Zenmo could expand on these ideas by building a mobile game and/or literal slot machine to receive your payment.

Who is involved?

• Name: Ian Anderson
• Twitter: @senorinfinito
• Github ID: ijanderso
• Skillz: Product / Math
• Project role / expectations: Project Tsar/Zsar
• Project stake: 100%

and any betatesters who want to contribute in maximizing Zenmo's potential.

Who will be the project's Comptroller?

Ian Anderson

Is this realistic to implement via BIFFUD?

Yeah, it's largely just some automation of API calls with JS + Python plus some math.

Next Steps

Please attend the next scheduled BIFFUD plotting session to plead your case.
This issue will be updated with application status and next steps.

BIFFUD Project Application

As described in section 11.11.B of the BIFFUD Corporate Bylaws I (we) hereby invoke my (our) rights as a (a) sentient being(s) who has (have) not uploaded their mind(s) to the cloud for consideration of this project application by the BIFFUD Hive Mind. With this application I (we) submit my (our) interest in becoming a (a) Member(s) of BIFFUD and having this project supported and adored by all who can 🤔.

Project Information

• Project Name: Swipe Stuff
• Project Haiku:

i like to swipe right  
and also random garbage   
bezos take my cash 

• Project Analogy: Tinder, but for buying things on Amazon

Project Description

What is your project? What is the goal?
Amazon and Tinder have four things in common: they each offer 1) an endless supply of 2) things you don't need but 3) will seek out anyway because you believe consumption will make you feel less lonely and yet you inevitably 4) regret your decision the next morning.

Shouldn't they share the same interface?

Why not bring the casual, impulsive dismissiveness/acquisition of people to the realm of objects by making it possible to swipe your way through everything on Amazon? Load our app and be presented with a randomly sorted list of things that are available to buy on Amazon (possibly subject to certain minimum/maximum price restrictions as analogue to age, or categories as analogue to gender). Swipe left for the next object that you didn't know you needed, swipe right to instantly Prime it right to your house.

There are a few prior art inspirations for this project, which has been sitting in an evernote folder I have for bad ideas since September 2014:

• Darius Kazemi's random amazon shopping bot
• Canopy, which bills itself as "Aamzon, curated" (note: THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT WE WANT)
• dating apps, which, lol

Bylaw Questions

How is this project a bad idea?

Jeff Bezos doesn't need any more money and this will probably give him some. Also probably will have negative environmental externalities.

If this project were a D&D Character, what alignment would it be and why?

Alignment:

• Chaotic Neutral

Because it is a fount of random garbage.

Where are the lulz?

As Darius' bot proved, there are a lot of weird things on Amazon, and since this app won't (indeed, mustn't) privilege highly-rated or otherwise recommended items, it will increase the likelihood that people stumble across them.

(You can imagine a web-based version that does the same thing too, which is kind of nice).

How does this project make people 🤔 (thinking face emoji)?

You did this to yourself.

[Any arbitrary set list of objects] disrupts being, spilling a heap of unwelcome and incoherent crap at the foot of the reader. In doing so, a tiny part of the expanding universe is revealed through cataloging. Ontographical cataloging hones a virtue: the abandonment of anthropocentric narrative coherence in favor of worldly detail...Such is the ontographical project, to draw attention to the countless things that litter our world unseen.

We must not confuse the values of the design of objects for human use, such as doors, toasters, and computers, with the nature of the world itself. An ontograph is a crowd, not a cellular automaton that might describe its emergent operation. An ontograph is a landfill, not a Japanese garden. It shows how much rather than how little exists simultaneously, suspended in the dense meanwhile of being.

• Ian Bogost, Alien Phenomenology

Who is Involved?

Sentient Being

• Name: Chris 'Petey' "Peter" "The Petersterater" Peterson
• Twitter: peteyreplies
• Github ID: peteyreplies
• Skillz: none to speak of
• Project role / expectations: unhelpful and low
• Project stake: I had this idea 4 years ago and don't know what else to do with it

Bot Overlord

• Statement of Purpose:

Who will be the project's Comptroller?

I don't know what this means.

Is it realistic to implement through BIFFUD?

I think so?

Next Steps

Please attend the next scheduled BIFFUD plotting session to plead your case.
This issue will be updated with application status and next steps.

BIFFUD Project Application

As described in section 11.11.B of the BIFFUD Corporate Bylaws I hereby invoke my rights as a sentient being who has not uploaded their mind to the cloud for consideration of this project application by the BIFFUD Hive Mind. With this application I submit my interest in becoming a Member of BIFFUD and having this project supported and adored by all who can 🤔.

Project Information

• Project Name: Overengineered Diplomacy
• Project Haiku:

this line does not have
five syllables. the next has
seven syllables

• Project Analogy: It's like Civilization V for Diplomacy

Project Description

Original description:

A few of us decided to play diplomacy over Slack... then we decided to build things to delay and publicize the friend-death.

Diplomacy is a game that breaks people. It involves betreyal and backstabbing over a long period of time. The premise is simple: the players are all world powers and they control armies. Each power wants to control as much territory as possible. All moves are deterministic, there is no randomness to the game. However, people can lie about what they plan to do.

Playing diplomacy is a bad idea in itself, but writing complex code to publicly render an otherwise private, simple game is a genuine waste of raw creative energy.

via https://github.com/BadIdeaFactory/overengineered-diplomacy

Bylaw Questions

How is this project a bad idea?

We tried to do this a year ago and everything got sidetracked when Russia engineered a coup in the United States in a completely unrelated, different game.

If this project were a D&D Character, what alignment would it be and why?

Alignment:

• Chaotic Good
• Neutral Good
• Chaotic Neutral
• Neutral Awesome

Where are the lulz?

It's imperative for the game board to be exportable as a GIS layer, dammit.

How does this project make people thinking face emoji?

You have to think a lot to play.

Who is involved?

• Name: Lou Huang
• Twitter: @saikofish
• Github ID: @louh
• Skillz: JavaScript, UI, maps, Redis-backed Node.js game engines
• Project role / expectations: I'll start from here and work outwards https://github.com/louh/diplomacy-map
• Project stake: X% ownership of the project

Pinging @slifty @knowtheory @crupar do you still want to be involved?

Who will be the project's Comptroller?

I can do it, I got visionz

Is this realistic to implement via BIFFUD?

We certainly thought so before BIFFUD was a thing

Next Steps

Please attend the next scheduled BIFFUD plotting session to plead your case.
This issue will be updated with application status and next steps.

Now that we are doing more serious bzns, it's time to review our bylaws. Some concepts that I would like us to consider in an updated bylaw draft:

• Codify the 2.4% tithe on gross income for projects that go through BIFFUD; add some kind of clause around direct reimbursements (e.g. someone buys something that gets paid back directly by a client, we shouldn't take a tithe there).

• Update our title for "Minions" -- it was funny at the time, still is really, but it's also a little rude. We think that "Accomplices" has a better ring to it while still implying participation in sinister and criminal plots.

• Add better structure around budget requests -- now that I've become an Official Certified Accountant* for the company, I've learned the errors in our ways. We need budget requests to always have the following components: (1) the exact amount requested, (2) the term of the request {so when the money has to be spent by}, (3) what happens to leftover funds, (4) a description of what it means to have "bought" the thing {so we know when 3 takes effect}

• Require budgeting for petty cash fund. Right now there is a loophole that Lou and I have Totally Not Abused So Far We Swear which would allow us to spend unlimited money in <$100 increments. This isn't the intent of petty cash fund, and it makes it hard to hold us accountable. We should require that the hive allocate money to petty cash, maybe with a recommended $200 at the beginning of the year. This can be refreshed at a plotting session the same way any budget could be set.

• Add some language explaining the spirit of BIFFUD's money structure, with suggested guidelines for project owners as they think about budgets. Basically, helping folks understand what kinds of resources they can expect BIFFUD corporate to pay for vs what they should expect to be paying on their own.

• Figure out how to handle the whole "we are kind of acting like an agency" thing. We can't wait for the hive mind to approve each individual client project or grant application. We need to figure out some kind of structure to support funded work. This will likely involve some kind of faith in the Executive Overlord team when it comes to FUNDED projects

• Add in some concept for hibernation of projects. Some projects we have approved aren't moving, which is OK and expected; we should figure out some way to indicate the live ones.

• Potentially build in an expectation that if we approve a project, we are committing to fund a petty cash fund for the project. This will give some teeth and meaning to our approval, and support the project's success. Right now it costs nothing to approve a project, and as a result I think we have more stagnant projects.

• I am not a certified accountant

What do you want?

Funding to pay for a branding exercise and the professional design and implementation of a website.

Total cost: 3,000 EUR (aka $3,512.54 as of this moment.)
Breakdown: 1,000 for branding, 2,000 for the website

When do you want it?

NOW!!!!!!

What will happen to it after you die?

The results of this will live on forever at the Internet Archive.
I can also commit to printing out copies of the website once it is finished and putting it in a time capsule somewhere.

What is the value proposition, return on investment, corporate synergistic alignment, disruption impact? Will this move the needle, or amplify low hanging fruit?

We really need a website that we're comfortable sharing with random strangers on the street. Specifically we want a digital brand and presence that accomplishes the following:

Makers -- we want people who make things to know about our organization and participate.

Foundations and funders -- we want foundations to feel comfortable funding us to create things, we want them to appreciate the VALUE of the culture we harbor and want to be associated with that culture.

Partners -- We want people who need things built to understand that we are capable creators; this might be organizations like the BBC or startups like Meedan who might hire us to develop products with a predefined scope of work.

Users -- We want potential users of the things we create to know what we're about and take joy in the fact that by using our stuff (or maybe some day paying for it) they are supporting something awesome (and they can be a part of it too)

We are probably looking skeptical right now. Any other considerations?

I'll take some of the money talk out of github, but I think this can be done in a sustainable way for the organization.

BIFFUD Project Application

As described in section 11.11.B of the BIFFUD Corporate Bylaws I hereby invoke
my rights as a sentient being who has not uploaded their mind to the cloud for consideration of this project application by the BIFFUD Hive Mind. With this
application I submit my interest in becoming a Member of BIFFUD and having this
project supported and adored by all who can 🤔.

Project Information

• Project Name: [The #eggfacts Book ]

• Project Haiku:
  egg and chips, eggs with
  spam, egg and peas, more eggs please
  eggs are round, kinda

• Project Analogy: [It's like wikipedia for eggz]

Project Description

[What's the vision, really sell us on this thing]

We will produce and sell a delightfully illustrated counter-top book with organically sourced egg facts that will make the reader 🤔

Eggs sell themselves. We've done extensive market research and established that 66.67%* of the world's population like eggs and ergo will want to read interesting facts about them. Eggs unite the world - this book will create world peace.

We already have a good stash of #eggfacts but will harvest more by surreptitiously adding a #eggfacts channel on ALL Slacks we possibly can, doubling as a guerilla marketing campaign, culminating in a "@channel Did you know the #eggfacts book is now available?" message, followed by a swift deletion of the channel.

Unless we manage to create #eggstarter first (see separate future application), we'll use kickstarter to raise funds for our project.

*sample size 4

Bylaw Questions

How is this project a bad idea?

Nobody wants to read facts about eggs .... ( or do they? 🤔 ) We'll spend many egg hours harvesting #eggfacts, creating accompanying content / illustrations, establishing printing / shipping logistics, buying eggs and writing #eggfacts on them (stretchgoals), decorating eggs with dog hair (to create unique eggcharacters - (super stretch goals)), only to sell exactly zero copies (unless we buy them ourselves).

If this project were a D&D Character, what alignment would it be and why?

Alignment:

• Chaotic Good
• Neutral Good
• Chaotic Neutral

Don't know? This might help <-- this doesn't help.

Where are the lulz?

Are you kidding?

How does this project make people thinking face emoji?

:Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg::Reggaegg:

Who is involved?

Eggroller1

• Name: Mark 'The Eggshark' Boas
• Twitter: @maboa
• Github ID: maboa
• Skillz: don't mind if I do
• Project role / expectations: will scramble to make #eggfacts incarnate
• Project stake: 50%

Eggroller2

• Name: Chris '#eggfacts' Zubak-Skees
• Twitter: @zubakskees
• Github ID: zubakskees
• Skillz: yes please
• Project role / expectations: chief #eggfact poacher
• Project stake: 50%

Who will be the project's Comptroller?

Eggshark Boas or Chris #eggfacts (if there must be one) - I'm invisaging a double-yolk approach.

Is this realistic to implement via BIFFUD?

Eggsactly! :Reggaegg:

Next Steps

Please attend the next scheduled BIFFUD plotting session to plead your case.
This issue will be updated with application status and next steps.

I have nothing constructive to add.

okay, so we have a style guide in progress, but critically we want to be able to have the horizon for the logo change as a function of the time of day that the document is accessed/printed/etc. Is this possible?

I HEREBY INVOKE MY RIGHTS...

As described in section 11.11.B of the BIFFUD Corporate Bylaws I hereby invoke
my rights as a sentient being who has not uploaded their mind to the cloud for consideration of this project application by the BIFFUD Hive Mind. With this
application I submit my interest in becoming a Member of BIFFUD and having this
project supported and adored by all who can 🤔.

Project Information

• Project Name: Montaging the Montage Montagery, aka Triple M, aka M and M and M, aka emineminem

• Project Haiku: Upon giving Bice some Grappa
  He looked at me and asked politely
  Do you like Frank Zappa?

• Project Analogy: It's like Scalextric for Video Facts

Project Description

The goal is to easily allow video content to be annotated. We'll employ what we've learned working on Hyperaudio over the years to produce Interactive Transcripts that allow selections to be annotated / shared.

This is a legacy system that we're trying to bring up to date. This will involve several challenges including:

1. Mixing React with Angular
2. Not touching the back-end

We will come together once a week to sing the following verse to Ed Bice:

One man one goal one mission,
One heart one soul just one solution,
One flash of light yeah one god one vision
One flesh one bone,
One true religion,
One voice one hope,
One real decision,
Wowowowo gimme one vision

Bylaw Questions

How is this project a bad idea?

Meedan's CEO Ed Bice is probably undercover FBI. His MO is to undermine BIF, we're on to him though. Ever noticed that BIF is an anagram of FBI?

If this project were a D&D Character, what alignment would it be and why?

Alignment (CHOOSE ONE):

• Chaotic Neutral

Don't know? This might help

Where are the lulz?

In every nook and cranny that this project inhabits.

How does this project make people thinking face emoji?

We have no idea what we're doing or working on. Also Angular.

Who is involved?

• Name: Sir Mark of Boas
• Twitter: @maboa
• Github ID: maboa
• Skillz: Beastmastery and not living up to expectations.
• Project role / expectations: Beastmastery and not living up to expectations.
• Project stake: 25%

• Name: The Right Reverend Dan Schultz
• Twitter: @slifty
• Github ID: slifty
• Skillz: Overlording
• Project role / expectations: Overlording us with his overlordery.
• Project stake: 25%

• Name: Group Captain Laurian Gridinoc
• Twitter: @gridinoc
• Github ID: Laurian
• Skillz: Overengineering, Premature Optimisation, Choosing immature tech because shiny
• Project role / expectations: Vastly underestimating the project in hand, much procrastination
• Project stake: 25%

• Name: His Royal Highness the Piotr of Fedorczyk
• Twitter: @presentday
• Github ID: piotrf
• Skillz: Making things look good, making things easy to use, making things work
• Project role / expectations: Making things look good, less so making things easy to use, even less so making things work
• Project stake: 25%

Who will be the project's Comptroller?

Sir Mark of Boas

Is this realistic to implement via BIFFUD?

Sure. This is fine!

Next Steps

1. Attend the next scheduled BIFFUD plotting session to plead your case.
2. Plan the work, do the work, reflect on the work, rinse and repeat until done.

How (often) will you be providing updates to the organization?

Weekly on ze Slack machine

BIFFUD Project Application

As described in section 11.11.B of the BIFFUD Corporate Bylaws I (we) hereby invoke my (our) rights as a (a) sentient being(s) who has (have) not uploaded their mind(s) to the cloud for consideration of this project application by the BIFFUD Hive Mind. With this application I (we) submit my (our) interest in becoming a (a) Member(s) of BIFFUD and having this project supported and adored by all who can 🤔.

Project Information

Why is there no <h3> here in the outline, DAN?

Know that I am the Overmind; the eternal will of the Swarm, and that you have been created to serve me.

... For the Overmind.

• Project Name: BuyTime
• Project Haiku:

Time is linear
But in case it's cyclical
You'd better buy some

• Project Analogy: It's like eBay for time. Or maybe Amazon. Definitely not Uber. Unless...

  No.

Project Description

BuyTime will be a website in which one can buy periods of time, much in the same way that one can name a star.

The idea came about over high school lunch table discussions about a commodity we could sell without having to produce anything tangible (other than, perhaps, a certificate of sale). It's beyond snake oil; in buying it, one inherently knows one is not actually getting anything "real". Which sounds beyond stupid, but there are plenty of examples out there: canned air from various locations, naming rights to stars, land on celestial objects, bottled water in first world countries... you get the idea. So we had a brainstorm (it was a bad one; we had to put our tongue guards in) and came up with: time.

As @bluxenberg put down in a later recap of the initial lunch table discussions:

After doing some initial research, we learned that, for example, 1/6 of Israelis had purchased land on the moon. Giving land on the moon had become a popular funny gift in the country. After learning about the moon land sales, we spent time generating ideas about similar things we could sell. The key characteristic was there could be no accountability for what we were selling. That is, no one could ever claim you sold them something faulty, defective, or, at base, anything material beyond a piece of paper. We identified selling time as the perfect commodity that could meet the core characteristic of no accountability.

In terms of how time would be sold, we came up with a few initial ideas:

• Direct. Sell individual blocks of time directly. The value of blocks might vary depending on when they occurred.
• Auctions. Let people bid up the price of individual periods of time.
• Shares. Allow people to own a "share" of a particular time block. We could cap the number of shares at some artificial number in order to create false market scarcity. E.g., you could own five shares of your birthday or one share of the day of Pearl Harbor.
• Secondary Markets. Resale market where people could sell and trade the time blocks or shares that they own. We would take a cut of each transaction. BLOCKCHAIN!?

No matter what kind of sale, there should be a digital certificate associated with it. Thankfully, BIFFUD has already developed/is developing awful technology for memos and signatures. A physical version could be mailed for a price.

There are many open questions about implementation here. A big one that comes to mind is futures: do we do 'em? But we're excited to discuss everything with the Hive Mind.

Bylaw Questions

How is this project a bad idea?

We're selling nothing. People will either give us money for nothing, which is bad, or we'll have wasted a ton of time, which is bad.
Bad.
Bad bad bad.

And yet, as Erek just described the project to his wife, her eyes went wide and she asked if she could be the first person to buy a few dates.

So... is it bad if it makes someone happy? What a perfect segue to...

If this project were a D&D Character, what alignment would it be and why?

Alignment:

• Chaotic Good
• Neutral Good
• Chaotic Neutral

As the above link says about neutral good, "it advances mediocrity by limiting the actions of the truly capable." What a perfect summation of this project.

Where are the lulz?

We hold these lulz to be self-evident.

How does this project make people thinking face emoji?

[Don't thinking face emoji too hard] <- you're not our boss, advisory sentence.

According to the Wikipedia article on the labor theory of property:

In his Second Treatise on Government, the philosopher John Locke asked by what right an individual can claim to own one part of the world, when, according to the Bible, God gave the world to all humanity in common. He answered that persons own themselves and therefore their own labor. When a person works, that labor enters into the object. Thus, the object becomes the property of that person.

However, according to a highDEAS post submitted by kit on May 11, 2010:

It doesn't make sense that people can own parts of the Earth. It's weird that some people a long time ago just looked at the land and was like I call this one, this is mine. It'd be like someone owning the ocean or a part of it. It's kinda fucked up.

So as you can see, two opposing arguments made by titans of philosophy. If that doesn't make you 🤔, you're dead inside. Or not high enough.

Who is involved?

In no particular order:

Sentient Being

• Name: Erek Alper
• Twitter: @erekalper
• Github ID: @erekalper
• Skillz: Moderate front- and back-end.
• Project role / expectations: Setting everything up initially. Seeking help with online sales, etc. that he's not worked on before. Also basically anyone with an actual eye for aesthetics.
• Project stake: 50% (or less, if others want to come on)

Sentient Being

• Name: Ben Luxenberg
• Twitter: @BenLuxenberg1
• Github ID: @bluxenberg
• Skillz: Has an MBA. Marketing, #moneystuff, etc.
• Project role / expectations: Ideas, helping with design, being official about real-world stuff. Again, he's got an MBA.
• Project stake: 50% (or less, if others want to come on)

Sentient Being

• Name: YOU!?
• Twitter: @you!?
• Github ID: @you!?
• Skillz: Front-end, back-end, design, sales, etc. Basically anything!
• Project role / expectations: Being a partner and helping out with your area(s) of expertise.
• Project stake: Even split.

Who will be the project's Comptroller?

Ben Luxenberg. It really can't be stressed enough that he has an MBA.

Is this realistic to implement via BIFFUD?

Hell yes.

Next Steps

Please attend the next scheduled BIFFUD plotting session to plead your case.
This issue will be updated with application status and next steps.

What do you want?

We have a year of experience under our belts now, and know what costs are around the corner. Time to ask for money.

• $625: Paying our tax accountant to do 2018 taxes
• $300: Paying for quickbooks (12 months; $25 / month)
• $100: Petty cash fund
• $149.90: Annual subscription to Zoom
• $15.50: biffud.com domain name for a year

Total: $1190.40

NOTE: If there are sales tax for these items (or other small fudging) then I'm asking for general approval of this

When do you want it?

The money will be spent in the year 2019.

What will happen to it after you die?

We expect to spend all of this; if there's any left at the end of the year then cool! It should be given back

What is the value proposition, return on investment, corporate synergistic alignment, disruption

We are probably looking skeptical right now. Any other considerations?

Next Steps

Please attend the next scheduled BIFFUD plotting session to plead your case.

We need to set up Quickbooks. This has been an ongoing effort, and the iteration so far has not been captured here unfortunately. This changes now.

You know, for the next time we need to set up Quickbooks.

We are using GitHub for most note taking in order to be transparent to the public to which we are not at all accountable.

However, we need a way to store more sensitive data.

TL;DR Corporate Overlords now have access to a shared drive with things like signed contracts stored in them.

What do you want?

We paid a lawyer to start our company; we didn't have bylaws at the time, so there was no formal approval process. I'd like to formally retroactively approve funding that payment back in 2017.

When do you want it?

Two years ago

What will happen to it after you die?

This application is proof that time is not linear, so in that sense I am already dead.

What is the value proposition, return on investment, corporate synergistic alignment, disruption impact? Will this move the needle, or amplify low hanging fruit?

In the future these funds will have already been allocated, just as how in the present these funds have already been spent. Ultimately this proposal is an attempt to just make reality more real.

We are probably looking skeptical right now. Any other considerations?

Go watch Primer.

Next Steps

Please attend the next scheduled BIFFUD plotting session to plead your case.

We need to set up a bunch of our services now that we have some funds:

• 1Password for Teams
• AWS
• Digital Ocean
• Apple Developer
• (Legacy) Google Teams

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>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+++.---<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>--.++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>++.--<>>>>>>>++.--<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>++.--<<<<<<<>++.--<>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>-.+<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+++.---<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>+++.---<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+++.---<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>--.++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>--.++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>+++.---<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>++.--<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>--.++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>--.++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>--.++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>.<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>--.++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>+++.---<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+++.---<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+++.---<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>--.++<<<<<<>++.--<>++.--<>>>>+++.---<<<<>>>>+++.---<<<<>>>>+++.---<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>--.++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>--.++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+++.---<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>+++.---<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+++.---<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>.<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>++.--<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>.<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>--.++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<>++.--<>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>+++.---<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>.<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+++.---<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>++.--<>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>+++.---<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>--.++<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>++.--<>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>+++.---<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>.<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<>>>>>-.+<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>--.++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+++.---<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>++.--<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>++.--<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>---.+++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-.+<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+++.---<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>+++.---<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>.<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>.<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>+.-<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>----.++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<.

We should use issues to track and discuss ideas for bylaw changes SO EREK DOESNT LOSE THEM WHENEVER HE BUYS A NEW HOUSE AND MOVES.

Clearly this will happen often enough that we should have an issue template for it.

We need a template / baseline CLA for BIFFUD projects as soon as possible.

The content should be placed in documents/contributor-license-agreement.md

➡ 👍 🎇 🤸🏾 🎐 📛 🖐🏿 🛎 🛀🏿 🚍 💇🏾 📆 🛀🏽 ♿ 🤸🏿

🤣 🖖 🙋🏻 🎈 👊🏻 🗂 🇹🇨 🛀 🙅🏿 🥑 ➿14.2.A 🤠 👊🏿 🚤 ♒ 👁‍🗨 👕 🤾🏾 ⏰ 🖍 🏡 🕳 💣 🤼🏼 💖 🤶🏾 🇸🇯 🤠 🇵🇪 🌥 😇 🇧🇩 🉑 👂🏻 ⛩ 🎨 🏖 🍽 👐🏼 👎 👃 😋 👮🏻 😗 🏃🏽 🇵🇦 🇬🇺 🇦🇬 🛅 🕵🏿 💪🏽 🌺 🤷🏻 🇲🇫 ✔ 🍡 👨🏻 🇨🇲 👸🏾 🐿 🇾🇪 👅 🌺 😚 🔆 👏🏼 👵 👲🏽 👻 💂 🚂 🙆🏽 🤦🏽 🌾 🍈 🤜🏿 ✊ 👜 🕞 🙏🏽 🇹🇲 🕵🏿 👶🏿 👩🏾 🇦🇱 🍻 🇨🇺 👵🏾 😄 ♥ ❇. 🇦🇽 👮🏾 ❕ 🕺🏼 🇮🇨 🏋 🇨🇷 🇰🇳 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 🖲 🌼 🈶 🎹 👏🏽 ⏫ 💝 🎅🏽 🈂 📠 🇱🇮 🤼🏾 👬 4️⃣ 🤜🏽 🗞 🕓 🔺 🏎 🎅🏿 🌞 Ⓜ 💟 🇵🇪

🎬 🆚 🤙 👴🏿 ⏹ 🔝 🤚🏿 🕠 🕺🏽 😾 🤴🏽 🎰 📅 🗻 🙌🏻 ✍ 📫 🏠 💒 🔟 🇲🇻 🏠 👦 🛀🏽 👨‍👨‍👦‍👦 🕣 🇭🇺 🤝🏿 ⏳ 🐝 🚁 🚴🏼 🖐🏿 ☺ 🇹🇹 😮 🤶🏻 🤳🏽 🖊 ❔ 🤜🏽 🙋🏾 🔬 🤷 😝 🔵 ♒

Candidate Information

• Full Name*: 🎆 🅰️ 🎉 🍨 🎤 🅰️ ⭐️ 🅰️ 🐰 🅰️ 🎧 ⌨️ 🎧 🅰️ 😆 🍨 🗡
• Twitter Handle: 💂🏼 🚶🏼 🇵🇫 🙋 🇨🇱 💇🏼
• Social Security Number (pick one): 1️⃣ 1️⃣ 2️⃣ 3️⃣ 5️⃣ 9️⃣ 7️⃣ 8️⃣ 9️⃣ 9️⃣

Bylaw Questions

What the title of your biography?

💂🏼 🚶🏼 🇵🇫 🙋 🇨🇱 💇🏼 🙍 🇱🇻 👀 💁🏿 ☠ 👰 🇸🇲 🚃 ☺ 🚾 🤽🏼 😁 🎸 👵 🛀🏻 👇🏿 ⛈ 🎲 😄 💁 🙌🏽 🐨 🙍🏿

Ok, now write your biography?

👟 🌦 Ⓜ 👨🏻 🏃🏽 💙 🚵🏾 🇷🇪 🤓 🏥 😖 ⚽ 🇦🇮 🥙 👲🏻 🕘 💃🏾 🙄 🛋 🖕🏿 👌🏼 🔵 🇳🇺 🚞 🏎 🤕 🎅 😧 🇧🇿 👂🏻 🇦🇶 💪🏿 🚡 🉐 🎑! 📽 👂🏿 😊 🥖 👧🏽 👴🏽 👰 ☘ 🏃🏼 🏒 ☝🏻 🛄 🥃 👃🏽 👨🏻 🇦🇮 👸🏻 👂🏼 🏋🏾 ⚡ ▫ 💂🏽 👋🏿 🏊🏻 🔬 🤜🏿 🖊 🤶🏾 🔴 😟 🌟 🤘🏿 🇹🇲 👱🏾 👨‍👨‍👧‍👧 🚤 ⚱ 👌 🔩 🐘 👙 ⛹🏽 🤴🏼 🤡 🕌 👩‍👩‍👦 🏭

How will you submit your original creative work?

🖼 🎐 🌾 📭 📦 🖌 ⌚ 🇲🇳 🌿 👰🏿 🙍🏽 🇪🇪 👂🏽 👧 8️⃣.

Survey

Why do you want to be a Corporate Overlord?

🗳 🎤 🚪 🌪 👆🏻 🌈 🕺🏾 🏳 🇫🇷 👹 🛥 🍗 🔽 🤳🏽 🐻 💈 🇬🇲 👮🏽 💅🏿 🎾 👋🏼 🍤 🏊🏿 💃🏽 📂 🈺 🈴 👃 🍯 💁 🌳 🥑 🕋 🤾🏼 🚁 🇨🇷 👟 👳🏿

Do you identify as a cis-hetero white man?

• 🤔

Next Steps

✔️ see you Jan 20!

We will be signing contracts with third parties around payment, we need a template to start with that we feel comfortable with as an organization.

If you are a Corporate Overlord interested in applying for an Elected Overlord position, this is the issue thread for you.

To apply for a position simply copy this markdown and fill it out with your information as a comment in this thread.

Elections will be held during May's plotting session (since April's is too soon and would violate the 24 hour bylaws clause).

I HEREBY INVOKE MY RIGHTS...

As described in section 11.11.B of the BIFFUD Corporate Bylaws I hereby invoke
my rights as a sentient being who has not uploaded their mind to the cloud for consideration of this project application by the BIFFUD Hive Mind. With this
application I submit my interest in becoming a Member of BIFFUD and having this
project supported and adored by all who can 🤔.

Project Information

• Project Name: Interviewing folks at UIowa
• Project Haiku: I don't have pants on / but need to be somewhere soon / please approve my thing
• Project Analogy: It's like crappy manual alexa for researchers

Project Description

A group of researchers is looking for an iOS application that will ask a series of questions and record responses. This isn't a traditional BIFFUD project, but we have a good relationship with the researchers so it might make sense to help them out. Plus they have a budget!

Bylaw Questions

How is this project a bad idea?

It has nothing to do with what we actually make; it will cost dan $140 to run it through BIFFUD.

If this project were a D&D Character, what alignment would it be and why?

Alignment (CHOOSE ONE):

• Neutral Good

Where are the lulz?

Honestly... I don't think there are any lulz.

How does this project make people thinking face emoji?

Ah! It definitely does this one -- it is asking people to answer questions.

Who is involved?

• Name: Dan
• Twitter: @slifty
• Github ID: slifty
• Skillz: [wordz]
• Project role / expectations: solo / do all the work

Who will be the project's Comptroller?

Dan

Is this realistic to implement via BIFFUD?

Yes

How (often) will you be providing updates to the organization?

I don't think you'll need them... But the timeline for implementation is about a month.

I take issue with there being no open issues.

BIFFUD Project Application

As described in section 11.11.B of the BIFFUD Corporate Bylaws I hereby invoke
my rights as a sentient being who has not uploaded their mind to the cloud for consideration of this project application by the BIFFUD Hive Mind. With this
application I submit my interest in becoming a Member of BIFFUD and having this
project supported and adored by all who can 🤔.

Project Information

• Project Name: Project Neon
• Project Haiku:

To lighten the mood
or illuminate a room:
Neon emoji

• Project Analogy: It's like a bar sign for thinking face emoji

Project Description

Mike Tigas bought a shruggie sign for his apartment, which got us thinking face: why not have a thinking face emoji on the walls of our corporate headquarters.

The idea is to create a custom designed neon thinking face emoji. I googled custom neon signs and the first hit was this company in colorado called Zeon. I talked to a rep about what it would take to do, he said they can do it! A one-off would be too expensive to make sense (~$1,000) , which means we need to create at least 25 of these suckers and sell them. The more we sell, the greater the margin. I figure if we can sell 25 at cost then it's a win for everybody. If we can sell 100 for a profit then I'll quit my job and become an emoji salesman.

We did the math from a recent twitter poll, and it is looking pretty promising:

Bylaw Questions

How is this project a bad idea?

It all depends on where you think you'll put the sign, frankly.

If you put it right in front of your computer monitor, you won't be able to get work done.
If you put it on your toilet seat, you won't be able to sit on your toilet.
If you put it on your car steering wheel you will have trouble making three point turns.
If you place it under your pillow you will be kept up at night from the light.

But overall I'll admit, it's basically a great idea. Who doesn't want to spend over a hundred dollars on a neon thinking face emoji.

If this project were a D&D Character, what alignment would it be and why?

Alignment (CHOOSE ONE):

• Chaotic Good

Where are the lulz?

It all depends on where you think you'll put the sign, frankly.

If you put it on the wall behind you during meetings, your meetings will be dominated by conversations about it.
If you use it to replace your porch light, everybody in your neighborhood will laugh at you
If you hang it in your house as a normal wall fixture your house guests will be confused and intrigued
If you replace your business signage with it, your customers will be much more thoughtful

How does this project make people thinking face emoji?

I'm not sure.

Who is involved?

[For each member...]

• Name: Dan Schultz
• Twitter: [email protected]
• Github ID: slifty
• Skillz: I am good at talking to third parties about bad idea factory and convincing them to take us more seriously than they should.
• Project role / expectations: I'd be handling the relationship with the manufacturer, setting up the kickstarter, and probably overseeing fulfillment. If this goes insane I'd need help.
• Project stake: 1/n where n is the number of people who get involved.

Who will be the project's Comptroller?

Dan Schultz.

Is this realistic to implement via BIFFUD?

Yes, because the company we work with would do the designing and making of the signs. Our role is in oversight, feedback, and customer relationships. We would probably go for a Kickstarter approach and require enough backers to cover some baseline of costs since we don't want to use our limited corporate funds to float this.

Cost per unit for 25 units was around $100; that price goes down as we scale, it goes up if we make the design more complex. Neon is slightly more expensive than an LED sign and I was advised that Neon doesn't last as long and is more likely to break in shipping etc. We may want to consider LEON which is basically an LED neon look (it looks pretty cool from the pictures). Anyway, point is, it's a realistic price point for the true emoji connoisseur.

Next Steps

1. Attend the next scheduled BIFFUD plotting session to plead your case.
2. Work with Zeon to design the sign.
3. Put together the kickstarter page.
   3b. Finish our goddamn website.
4. Get as many people to buy it as possible.
5. ???

How (often) will you be providing updates to the organization?

Should this be approved, I'll aim to have a progress report in May.

BIFFUD Project Application

As described in section 11.11.B of the BIFFUD Corporate Bylaws I (we) hereby invoke my (our) rights as a (a) sentient being(s) who has (have) not uploaded their mind(s) to the cloud for consideration of this project application by the BIFFUD Hive Mind. With this application I (we) submit my (our) interest in becoming a (a) Member(s) of BIFFUD and having this project supported and adored by all who can 🤔.

Project Information

• Project Name: 40,000 under 40
• Project Haiku:

Want to feel special?
Should not you be somebody?
Add yourself to this site

• Project Analogy:

It's like a Room of Requirement, but for your career.

Or, it's like musical chairs, where everybody wins.

Project Description

Have you ever been included on a 40-under-40 type list? Me neither! But thanks to the internet, credibility is a thing of the past, and anyone can say anything with basically no consequences.

Simply add your headshot and bio to the SUPER SECRET nomination page, and you're queued for inclusion in the list. Everyone gets 40 days on the list — plenty of time to snag that job, and parlay this honor into yet more honors.

Front door: http://mattstempeck.com/impactawards/
Back door: http://mattstempeck.com/impactawards/nominate/

Bylaw Questions

How is this project a bad idea?

Typically, people earn honors through hard work and good deeds. This would erode the value of those honors and potentially constitute lying in a job interview, depending on an employer's sense of humor.

If this project were a D&D Character, what alignment would it be and why?

Alignment:

• Chaotic Good
• Neutral Good
• Chaotic Neutral

Where are the lulz?

Making a mockery of the "Random list of innovators our journalist knows" content farm is reward enough.

How does this project make people 🤔 (thinking face emoji)?

If just anyone can add themselves to an innovators in leadership list, can we trust innovators in leadership lists?

Who is Involved?

Sentient Being

• Name: Matt
• Twitter: @mstem
• Github ID: @mstem
• Skillz: Wordpress hack
• Project role / expectations: most of it
• Project stake: most of the ensuing problems

Bot Overlord

• Statement of Purpose:

Who will be the project's Comptroller?

@mstem

Is it realistic to implement through BIFFUD?

Yes. BIFFUD will be particularly necessary in promoting the service. Plus, I already put the BIFFUD logo on it.

Next Steps

Please attend the next scheduled BIFFUD plotting session to plead your case.
This issue will be updated with application status and next steps.

BIFFUD Project Application

As described in section 11.11.B of the BIFFUD Corporate Bylaws I hereby invoke
my rights as a sentient being who has not uploaded their mind to the cloud for consideration of this project application by the BIFFUD Hive Mind. With this
application I submit my interest in becoming a Member of BIFFUD and having this
project supported and adored by all who can 🤔.

Project Information

• Project Name: Slack MUD Engine
• Project Haiku:

I can't talk right now.
It's pitch black. Edit Status:
Eaten by a grue.

• Project Analogy: It's like a video game engine for Slack

Project Description

Slack recently changed the way their emoji work so that there's no vertical or horizontal whitespace between tiles. This means slack can support grids of arbitray animated pixel art. Combine that with the slack API and BOOM you have a multi user 2-D grid based video game engine on your hands.

We absolutely must build that engine.

Bylaw Questions

How is this project a bad idea?

Slack is a platform for group communication, not video games.

If this project were a D&D Character, what alignment would it be and why?

Alignment (CHOOSE ONE):
Chaotic Good

Where are the lulz?

The real lulz are in the games we will be able to now create.
Electric Slide Simulator? Consider it done. The possibilities for Slack video games are endless. Chess. Tetris. Super Mario Bros. Unreal Tournament. Counterstrike. Starcraft. Zelda, Breath of the Wild.

Dwarf Fortress.

How does this project make people thinking face emoji?

This will be the modern day version of programmable calculator video games from your youth.

Who is involved?

[For each member...]

• Name: Dan Schultz
• Twitter: @slifty
• Github ID: slifty
• Skillz: frontend, backend, side to side. Come let me take you on a party ride; And I'll teach you, teach you, teach you; I'll teach you the electric slide; Some say it's mystic; It's electric; Boogie woogie, woogie; You can't resist it; It's electric; Boogie woogie, woogie; You can't do without it; It's electric; Boogie woogie, woogie
• Project role / expectations: will work to knock a first version of this thing out; others may join in later.
• Project stake: 100%

Who will be the project's Comptroller?

Dan Schultz

Is this realistic to implement via BIFFUD?

Yes, and as an added bonus hopefully it will break our slack.

Next Steps

1. Attend the next scheduled BIFFUD plotting session to plead your case.
2. The first step is going to be to list the next steps... If I haven't done this before presenting the idead, you really should not approve the project.

How (often) will you be providing updates to the organization?

I'd like to dedicate one live coding sessions per month on this project.

What happens when a project is approved? What steps does the beastmaster take?

This needs to be fleshed out in the beastmaster tome

I HEREBY INVOKE MY RIGHTS...

As described in section 11.11.B of the BIFFUD Corporate Bylaws I hereby invoke
my rights as a sentient being who has not uploaded their mind to the cloud for consideration of this project application by the BIFFUD Hive Mind. With this
application I submit my interest in becoming a Member of BIFFUD and having this
project supported and adored by all who can 🤔.

Project Information

• Project Name: The Prior Art Archive
• Project Haiku:

The past is prologue.
A prologue of bad ideas.
Let's store all of them!

• Project Analogy: It's like Battlestar Galactica for the United States Patent and Trademark Office

Project Description

TL;DR :: Prior art stops patents from being issued: if there is prior art for a thing, than that thing cannot be patented. This system will help streamline the process for discovering prior art.

Prior Art Archive (PrArAr) is an attempt to build out a system for collecting information about "prior art." -- this is a technical term in the legal field which I believe means "art that was created before this exact moment."

What we are planning to build is a network of high resolution scanners that can be mailed to communities around the world, asking them to scan ALL art created by children or adults. For sculptures we will deploy a fleet of drones equipped with 3D cameras and / or giant claws in order to steal them and bring them back to our central archive.

PrArAr is a project of The Underlay an edgy pop rock band founded at MIT in 2009. In 2016 or whatever they pivoted to become a global, distributed graph of public knowledge.

Enough jibba jabba. Here is what we put in the proposed scope of work:

Engineering, project management, and product management services for the PrArAr.  The goal is to build upon and generally improve the current PrArAr prototype in coordination with key stakeholders such as the US Patent and Trademark Office and in collaboration with Cisco and the Underlay Team.

Deliverables
  • New Upload Experience
    o Design and implementation of a new uploader experience (currently based on SFTP).The updated version will include:
      § A more natural and accessible flow and additionally provide a mechanism to upload through drag-and-drop on the website.
      § Metadata extraction triggered by the upload of new data.
    o Creation of an uploader / editor workflow that allows deleting, editing, and merging of documents and metadata.
  • Researcher (e.g. searching user) experience for viewing information related to a single document, single author, and single uploader.
  • Collaboration with Cisco engineers to help them maintain and potentially improve the search capabilities of the system.
  • Collaboration with other partners to improve entity extraction and application of patent IDs.
  • Updated user account page
    o Improving the way users view all of their uploaded documents by creating more accessible interfaces.
  • Where relevant, these efforts will also result in:
    o Creation of user needs documentation for USPTO, companies, law firms,and individuals
    o Creation of design specifications and wireframes
    o User testing and user feedback cycles
  • Create a system for identifying duplicate content and resolving those duplicates (e.g. via the merging interface referenced earlier)
  • General improvements to the system, as mutually identified over time

Responsibilities
Bad Idea Factory will be responsible for:
  • Conducting interviews and conversations with key stakeholders.
  • Designing, iterating on, and implementing the frontend (and supporting backend) of PrArAr.
  • Communicating progress and regularly pushing code and design progress to GitHub.
  • Performing deployment of the web application to staging and production servers.
  • Managing the project by regularly establishing priorities and processes in order to mesh together various contributing parties.

Bad Idea Factory will rely on the Underlay team for:
  •Providing regular feedback on design and implementation progress.
  •Assisting in coordination with external stakeholders.
  •Providing access to necessary computational resources (e.g. staging and production servers, code bases, and necessary backends / APIs to power the system)

Bylaw Questions

How is this project a bad idea?

One of our owners is an MIT employee, and since MIT has a conflict of interest policy this means that we would need to make sure that that owner sees absolutely no benefit from this relationship. In order to ensure this, we will need to go out of our way to make sure that the project creates net harm for Bad Idea Factory.

For example, because of this conflict of interest MIT would require us to not collect the 2% BIF tithe since that would ultimately benefit the company.

If this project were a D&D Character, what alignment would it be and why?

Alignment: Neutral Good

Where are the lulz?

• Adoption of this project would represent a legal commitment to sabotage ourselves.
• Yet another highly respected organization would be hiring a company called Bad Idea Factory, which is a concept that will probably never get old
• We get to index ALL BAD IDEAS IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE.
• We will be in a great position to be able to upload our OWN bad ideas into the database.

How does this project make people thinking face emoji?

This system will help more people get to 🤔 and create things without getting sued by patent trolls, because it will help the USPTO avoid issuing bad patents.

Who is involved?

Dan Schultz

• Twitter: @slifty
• Github ID: slifty
• Skillz: Project management, infiltration,
• Project role / expectations: Project lead; programming; talking to people all the time
• Project stake: 100%

Justin Reese

• Skillz: UX design / full stack development
• Project role / expectations: UX design / full stack development
• Project stake: 0% (paid contractor)

Who will be the project's Comptroller?

Dan Schultz

Is this realistic to implement via BIFFUD?

MONEY MAKES ANYTHING REALISTIC TO IMPLEMENT RIGHT?

Money Stuff

This project is FUNDED.
As noted earlier, in order to sign the contract we would have to waive the BIF Tithe (2%) for money paid by MIT. Cough

How (often) will you be providing updates to the organization?

Proposed start date is April 15th; this would represent an effort of around 20 to 30 hours a week, so we'll have updates more often than BIFFUD is likely going to be interested in hearing them.

BIFFUD Project Application

As described in section 11.11.B of the BIFFUD Corporate Bylaws I hereby invoke
my rights as a sentient being who has not uploaded their mind to the cloud for consideration of this project application by the BIFFUD Hive Mind. With this
application I submit my interest in becoming a Member of BIFFUD and having this
project supported and adored by all who can 🤔.

Project Information

• Project Name: Geochordinates
• Project Haiku:

the hills are alive
with the soo-ooo-und of music
...music directions

• Project Analogy: It's like The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time for Google Maps

Project Description

We convert geographic locations into a three note chord that you can play on a full sized piano keyboard.

Bylaw Questions

How is this project a bad idea?

A three note chord only gives you a resolution of 10 square miles.
(That's why we will also implement geochord progressions.)

If this project were a D&D Character, what alignment would it be and why?

Alignment:

• Chaotic Good
• Neutral Good
• Chaotic Neutral

Where are the lulz?

Ocarina google maps

How does this project make people thinking face emoji?

"Hey what's that song?"
"13 W Park St, Brooklyn, NY, 11213"
"🤔"

Who is involved?

PERSON A

• Name: Daniel Edward Park Schultz
• Twitter: @slifty
• Github ID: @slifty
• Skillz: mad
• Project role / expectations: Geochord patriot; Turning locations into chords
• Project stake: 50%

PERSON B

• Name: Baron von Oldenberg
• Twitter: @baron
• Github ID: @boldenburg
• Skillz: sick beats
• Project role / expectations: Geochord anarchist; Turning chords into locations
• Project stake: 50%

Who will be the project's Comptroller?

Dan probably

Is this realistic to implement via BIFFUD?

We already built half of it, this was the project that started it all.

Next Steps

Please attend the next scheduled BIFFUD plotting session to plead your case.
This issue will be updated with application status and next steps.

This can be as simple as a google spreadsheet for now, but really it would be good to have something that tracks who is at the plotting sessions. The more self reported the better.

I HEREBY INVOKE MY RIGHTS...

As described in section 11.11.B of the BIFFUD Corporate Bylaws I hereby invoke
my rights as a sentient being who has not uploaded their mind to the cloud for consideration of this project application by the BIFFUD Hive Mind. With this
application I submit my interest in becoming a Member of BIFFUD and having this
project supported and adored by all who can 🤔.

Project Information

• Project Name: The On1on
• Project Haiku:

Some news is so dumb
It belongs in The Onion
So we put it there

• Project Analogy: It's like The Onion but with actual current events that are truly occurring in our world, the same one we have to live in every day.

Project Description

In 2013 or so Dan and I built this project to parody a parody newspaper. News from Not the Onion automatically populates our handy Onion template: http://theon1on.com/

Bylaw Questions

How is this project a bad idea?

Well, let's see.

• We already negotiated the legalese with the CEO of The Onion when he visited MIT Media Lab. The main point of contention was that we had accidentally stolen the expensive font they license from a fine font foundry. We've since replaced it with a less criminal font. Dan also offended their engineers by lazily hotlinking their images onto our site. But now that's fixed, too, and we're all good! Except that the company has been sold for parts like 4 times since this all went down. So maybe we'll get some more angry lawyer letters.

• Another reason this project is a bad idea is that its news comes from Reddit, where it occasionally picks up some regressive, misogynist, and/or xenophobic funk. Future work on the project, should anyone be inspired, could include a moderation queue for this news.

• And maybe even fixing the Justin Bieber twitter embed, which has been stuck on this one tweet from 21 February 2013: https://twitter.com/justinbieber/status/304554593331843072.

• The site's premier banner sponsor, http://newsjack.in/, links to a website and project that is no longer online.

The good news is that this site continues to attract thousands of unique views a month with literally no effort in the past ~5 years. This proposal is mainly to bring the project into the BIFFUD stable, put it on the website, and reimburse the annual domain fee.

If this project were a D&D Character, what alignment would it be and why?

Alignment (CHOOSE ONE):
Chaotic good

Where are the lulz?

Our cruel sad world continues to produce headlines like "Burn Injuries From Viral Boiling Water Challenge Sending People To The Hospital"

How does this project make people thinking face emoji?

This project forces people to reconsider the very idea of parody news by appropriating (fair use!) the brand and design of one of the most popular parody products around. And then those people need to reconsider whether parody is still funny if they live in a world more bizarre than the dark, twisted minds of comedy writers can even create. It's great!

Who is involved?

[For each member...]

• Name: Matt Stempeck

• Twitter: @mstem

• Github ID: @mstem

• Skillz: Had the idea, convinced Dan to do it rather than his graduate coursework, made a rose logo in the style of an onion that everyone always totally notices

• Project role / expectations: renewing the domain name until the day I die

• Project stake: %50

• Name: Dan Schultz

• Twitter: @slifty

• Github ID: @slifty

• Skillz: Built pretty much the entire thing, Belieber

• Project role / expectations: maaaaybe fixing the Twitter integration?

• Project stake: %50

Who will be the project's Comptroller?

Matt Stempeck

Is this realistic to implement via BIFFUD?

Yeah, it's had exactly 6 years to off-gas any noxious properties. Plus, ONE THOUSAND TWITTER FOLLOWERS: https://twitter.com/theon1on

Next Steps

1. Attend the next scheduled BIFFUD plotting session to plead your case.
2. If approved, we will create an entry for this project on BIFFUD.com, and work with anyone who would like to help refresh it for today's modern era.

How (often) will you be providing updates to the organization?

Updates will be action-oriented

I HEREBY INVOKE MY RIGHTS...

As described in section 11.11.B of the BIFFUD Corporate Bylaws I hereby invoke
my rights as a sentient being who has not uploaded their mind to the cloud for consideration of this project application by the BIFFUD Hive Mind. With this
application I submit my interest in becoming a Member of BIFFUD and having this
project supported and adored by all who can 🤔.

Project Information

• Project Name: [Narrative Text Things for BBC News Labs]

• Project Haiku: [5 / 7 / 5]
  You scratch my back and
  I'll report you to the appropriate authorities
  Just kidding, I'll scratch yours

• Project Analogy: [It's like A defective Clockwork Orange for Basement Jaxx]

Project Description

Well... previously we worked on automatic subtitling thing, this tine they need to add the ability to add Narrative Text to things - eg "The spider advances slowly towards the sleeping baby..."

Bylaw Questions

How is this project a bad idea?

There is no way the BBC (a steadfast British bastion of British Britishness) should employ such a young and anarchic organisation such as BIFFUD to do anything .... and yet ...

If this project were a D&D Character, what alignment would it be and why?

Alignment (CHOOSE ONE):

• Chaotic Bad - we're dancing with the devil on this one - and so are they!

Where are the lulz?

British upper crust establishment vs BAD IDEA FACTORY! You tell me! The ground is ripe.

How does this project make people thinking face emoji?

WTF are the BBC doing working with these losers!!!???

Who is involved?

• Name: Markus Juanus Boasus
• Twitter: maboa
• Github ID: maboa
• Skillz: speaking english with an english accent
• Project role / expectations: PM (project mitigation)
• Project stake: 33

• Name: Laurianus Di Gridinocous
• Twitter: gridinoc
• Github ID: laurian
• Skillz: speaking english with a romanian accent
• Project role / expectations: making things, breaking things, blaming others
• Project stake: 33

• Name: Piotrudus Fedorczyckelious
• Twitter: PresentDay
• Github ID: piotrf
• Skillz: speaking english with a slight polish accent
• Project role / expectations: making things look better than they are
• Project stake: 33

Who will be the project's Comptroller?

Markus Juanus Boasus

Is this realistic to implement via BIFFUD?

Yes and no

Next Steps

1. Attend the next scheduled BIFFUD plotting session to plead your case.
2. [List out your project plan here, in a series of steps]

• do the work
• get the moneys
• scarper

How (often) will you be providing updates to the organization?

Upon request

Owners need an agreement contract that outlines who has what responsibilities, what the percentage of ownership distribution is, and what resources each person is contributing to the project.

BIFFUD Project Application

As described in section 11.11.B of the BIFFUD Corporate Bylaws I hereby invoke my rights as a sentient being who has not uploaded their mind to the cloud for consideration of this project application by the BIFFUD Hive Mind. With this application I submit my interest in becoming a Member of BIFFUD and having this project supported and adored by all who can 🤔.

Project Information

• Project Name: Signature Effects
• Project Haiku:

• Project Analogy: It's like Microsoft Word Art, but with signatures

Project Description

Boring

Not boring

Bylaw Questions

How is this project a bad idea?

Hopefully people will use this to sign BIFFUD legal documents, which is probably a bad idea.

If this project were a D&D Character, what alignment would it be and why?

Alignment:

• Chaotic Good
• Neutral Good
• Chaotic Neutral

Don't know? This might help

Where are the lulz?

How does this project make people thinking face emoji?

Who is involved?

[For each member...]

• Name: Allison McCartney
• Twitter: @anmccartney
• Github ID: @amccartney
• Skillz: Web design/development, an intimate knowledge and appreciation for the Original Microsoft Word Art
• Project role / expectations: Project manager, developer
• Project stake: 100%

But folks who know canvas, please come!

Who will be the project's Comptroller?

Allison McCartney

Is this realistic to implement via BIFFUD?

Quite

Next Steps

Please attend the next scheduled BIFFUD plotting session to plead your case.
This issue will be updated with application status and next steps.

BIFFUD Project Application

As described in section 11.11.B of the BIFFUD Corporate Bylaws I (we) hereby invoke my (our) rights as a (a) sentient being(s) who has (have) not uploaded their mind(s) to the cloud for consideration of this project application by the BIFFUD Hive Mind. With this application I (we) submit my (our) interest in becoming a (a) Member(s) of BIFFUD and having this project supported and adored by all who can 🤔.

Project Information

• Project Name: LotRuiner
• Project Haiku:

first, scratch tickets
then, a glut of winnings
last, burn it all down

• Project Analogy: Disaster capitalism, but for the lottery

Project Description

What is your project? What is the goal?
The lottery is a regressive institution, a tax on the poor and financially insecure, that plays on their dreams and aspirations and then exploits the few winners for a public performance that eventually ruins their life.

What if we could win the lottery and undermine it at the same time?

The purpose of this project is to a) solve several prima facie 'user problems' in playing that lottery in the short term that b) accrues financial returns to BFD in the intermediate term and c) ironically destroys the lottery in the long term.

Step 1: Make playing the lottery more 'frictionless', and also more appealing from a privacy perspective

Playing the lottery remains bound to the experience of bringing $2 in cash to a 7/11 or, if you're really motivated, mailing a check to a state office for a subscription. This is a disappearing interactive experience.

Instead, we create an app that allows you to buy, or subscribe, to any lottery you choose through your phone, which reduces the friction of buying a ticket.

Critically, the user doesn't actually buy the ticket: instead, they give money to BFD, which reserves the ticket on their behalf.

If/when a ticket wins, BFD claims the ticket on the user's behalf, distributing the money to them and thus protecting their privacy and anonymity. This provides the primary appeal to users of why do this (beyond convenience).

Step 2: Accrue financial returns to BFD in the intermediate term

In return for convenience and claiming tickets, BFD takes a modest percentage of winning tickets, which increases at a gradual level on the marginal dollar until you approach something like 10% over $1m (the typical share taken by random north shore "10 percenter" families who will claim tickets on people's behalf).

Additionally, BFD could arbitrage annuities more aggressively than the state is willing to do, i.e. claim jackpot 20 year annuities and offer higher immediate payouts than the state while preserving the financial security of BFD (and its members) effectively in perpetuity.

Step 3: Ruin the lottery

The lottery maintains its social legitimacy by propagating the illusion that ordinary people win it. It does so primarily by making public, mythical figures of the 'everyday' people who win the lottery, get their picture taken, and then their lives ruined.

By intermediating the process and claiming the winnings by a faceless, trolly institution, trust in the lottery will finally dwindle and destroy it in the long term.

Bylaw Questions

How is this project a bad idea?

It maintains or perhaps even strengthens a regressive institution in the short term and then undermines a key (if problematic) source of revenue in the long term.

If this project were a D&D Character, what alignment would it be and why?

Alignment:

• Chaotic Good
  because it ultimately does good through chaos

Where are the lulz?

Systemic irony and enabling lots of bad decisions.

How does this project make people 🤔 (thinking face emoji)?

It causes people to question the social performances and exploitative institutions that both support and erode our democracy.

Who is Involved?

Sentient Being

• Name: Chris 'Petey' 'Please pay me' Peterson
• Twitter: peteyreplies
• Github ID: peteyreplies
• Skillz: bad idea generation, ability to buy tickets
• Project role / expectations: ideation, legal research
• Project stake: I had this idea 2 years ago and don't know what else to do with it

Bot Overlord

• Statement of Purpose:

Who will be the project's Comptroller?

I don't know what this means.

Is it realistic to implement through BIFFUD?

Maybe, but it's going to be more complicated than the last one. The thing is that different states have regulations about who can buy tickets. In MA, for example, they have really strange laws about a minimum number of food and drink sales you need in order to sell lotto tickets, which effectively restricts tickets to being sold at convenience and liquor stores.

We could solve this problem in two ways: one, by geographic arbitrage, i.e. buying tickets in states without this requirement; two, we buy a convenience store on behalf of Biffud.

Next Steps

Please attend the next scheduled BIFFUD plotting session to plead your case.
This issue will be updated with application status and next steps.

BIFFUD Project Application

As described in section 11.11.B of the BIFFUD Corporate Bylaws I (we) hereby invoke my (our) rights as a (a) sentient being(s) who has (have) not uploaded their mind(s) to the cloud for consideration of this project application by the BIFFUD Hive Mind. With this application I (we) submit my (our) interest in becoming a (a) Member(s) of BIFFUD and having this project supported and adored by all who can 🤔.

Project Information

• Project Name: Talking Point Tracker
• Project Haiku:

Here is what was said:
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah blah 

• Project Analogy: It's like the human brain for summarizing the day's talking points

Project Description

The Bad Idea Factory, led by Dan Schultz, will assist the Duke Reporters’ Lab by developing Talking Point Tracker, which will include methods and technologies to integrate statements from the TV News Archive and other sources with fact checking work flows.

The Talking Point Tracker will extract the most frequent political statements aired on broadcast television in near real-time. The new tool will provide political fact-checkers with data to know which claims are catching on and being repeated to the public.

The tracker will incorporate elements that quantify soundbites, phrases, and key metadata.

Soundbites: Adapt the Duplitron tool, an open source audio fingerprinting tool, to track news coverage in near real-time by crunching through TV news broadcasts over a given time period and detecting which soundbites are being clipped the most. Develop ability to automatically distinguish commercials, improve soundbite detection of specific durations, and incorporating video fingerprinting into algorithms.

Phrase tracking: Explore ways to use natural language processing and analysis to enable the identification of common talking points and themed claims for a given time period through caption and transcript analysis. Continue to open our closed captioning data stores to others to help work toward jumping these technological hurdles while working on advancing these ourselves.

Key metadata. Enhance key metadata related to topic detection capabilities. Sentence clustering, entity extraction (essentially noun detection–finding persons, places, or things mentioned), all are areas to develop.

Bylaw Questions

How is this project a bad idea?

It is trying to solve like ten impossibly hard problems at once!

If this project were a D&D Character, what alignment would it be and why?

Alignment:

• Neutral Good

Where are the lulz?

This has genuine horse e-books potential.

How does this project make people 🤔 (thinking face emoji)?

It is going to be used to help fact checkers know what should be fact checked from a given day.

Who is Involved?

Sentient Being

• Name: Dan Schultz
• Twitter: @slifty
• Github ID: slifty
• Skillz: amazing at mario party
• Project role / expectations: project lead, rainmaker, lead engineer on this one most likely
• Project stake: 100% until otherwise noted

Bot Overlord

• Statement of Purpose: boop boop beep

Who will be the project's Comptroller?

Dan Schultz

Is it realistic to implement through BIFFUD?

There's money involved, so, as per tradition: obviously yes!

The scope is reasonable for the experiments proposed; absolute success is not a condition of the grant.

Next Steps

Please attend the next scheduled BIFFUD plotting session to plead your case.
This issue will be updated with application status and next steps.

I HEREBY INVOKE MY RIGHTS...

As described in section 11.11.B of the BIFFUD Corporate Bylaws I hereby invoke
my rights as a sentient being who has not uploaded their mind to the cloud for consideration of this project application by the BIFFUD Hive Mind. With this
application I submit my interest in becoming a Member of BIFFUD and having this
project supported and adored by all who can 🤔.

Project Information

• Project Name: Letters In The Mail, lettersinthemail.club

• Project Haiku: [5 / 7 / 5]
  everybody likes
  getting letters in the mail
  via cryptic sites

• Project Analogy: [It's like startup for thing]
  It's like your email inbox but on paper and fun.

Project Description

I was struck recently by part of a Huffington Post article about how to prevent suicides that mentioned the work of a psychiatrist who found that sending people occasional physical letters in the mail could improve their mental state. I've long wanted to do some sort of project that involves sending physical mail, so I wanna try doing that. After people (hopefully) sign up, I'll send them a letter in the mail once a month for three months. The letters will check in on them or give them directions for a scavenger hunt to do in their town or assorted other delightful shit. Also: I will invest in cool stamps. Cool stamps are an important part of this entire enterprise.

Bylaw Questions

How is this project a bad idea?

Won't this just seem like junk mail? Who wants to get more paper in the mail? Why do you want to print a bunch of shit out, do you hate the earth? Isn't the internet supposed to bring us beyond the physical realm and into the 1010100010101?

If this project were a D&D Character, what alignment would it be and why?

Alignment (CHOOSE ONE):
Neutral Good. It's not gonna solve climate change, it's just letters in the mail.

Where are the lulz?

Who sends letters in the mail anymore???? Such a boring and bad an idea it's good???? Why, etc.

How does this project make people thinking face emoji?

It's an invitation to return to print and the ~ physical realm ~ in a moment where a lot of people are exhausted by the internet. Mostly because of the unrelenting Nazis.

Who is involved?

[For each member...]

• Name: Laura Olin
• Twitter: @lauraolin
• Github ID: @LHOLIN
• Skillz: Digital strategy, writing
• Project role / expectations: Creator, executor
• Project stake: 100%

Who will be the project's Comptroller?

Me!

Is this realistic to implement via BIFFUD?

Yes! I will not libel anyone in the letters and I am good at customer service.

Next Steps

1. Attend the next scheduled BIFFUD plotting session to plead your case.
2. I've created the website for the project - at lettersinthemail.club - and am launching it on Thursday, Feb. 21 via my weekly email newsletter and some tweets.

How (often) will you be providing updates to the organization?

I can do an update mid-way through the three months and another one after on how it all went!

BIFFUD Project Application

As described in section 11.11.B of the BIFFUD Corporate Bylaws I hereby invoke
my rights as a sentient being who has not uploaded their mind to the cloud for consideration of this project application by the BIFFUD Hive Mind. With this
application I submit my interest in becoming a Member of BIFFUD and having this
project supported and adored by all who can 🤔.

Project Information

• Project Name: Truth Goggles
• Project Haiku: Thinking can be tough / with so many ways to fail / let the robots help
• Project Analogy: It's like a drinking buddy for reading the news

Project Description

Truth Goggles is an attempt to help people 🤔 more carefully when reading information online. It's based on cutting edge science about all the ways people can screw up with consuming information. there are so many ways. This project is funded by the Duke Reporter's Lab (and ultimately by The Knight Foundation, and Facebook). You can learn more about the grant over here.

Bylaw Questions

How is this project a bad idea?

This project already has part of a chapter dedicated to why it's a terrible idea in To Save Everything Click Here. It's trying to bypass emotional triggers and insert critical thinking into casual information consumption. Basically what I'm trying to say is that there's very little chance it will actually work in the same way that there's no chance I'm going to convince my toddler to eat the healthy food she doesn't want to eat.

If this project were a D&D Character, what alignment would it be and why?

Alignment:

• Chaotic Good
• ➡ Neutral Good
• Chaotic Neutral

Where are the lulz?

To some extent the lulz are in that someone is funding Bad Idea Factory again. We'd officially be funded by Facebook now, so, sorry about that. In terms of where lulz can be incorporated into the tool itself there is a solid chance that humor will be able to help people be more receptive to information that challenges their world views. That isn't really being explored in the first version, but we will find ways to subtly incorporate it as we iterate.

How does this project make people thinking face emoji?

Yes. Thinking face emoji is the entire point.

Who is involved?

• Name: Daniel Schultz
• Twitter: @slifty
• Github ID: @slifty
• Skillz: I'd like to add you to my professional network
• Project role / expectations: Product / Project management, development help
• Project stake: 100%

More will be added once the cash comes in. Ted and Carolyn will have some ownership stake for sure.

Who will be the project's Comptroller?

Dan Schultz

Is this realistic to implement via BIFFUD?

It should be; the highest risk is the NLP task of identifying claims

Any Money Involved?

We have a grant of $40,000 to hire folks to help; this makes it realistic. That money will be used to pay developers, designers, and pay for things like servers and domain names.

Expected Schedule

• Start: Grant period begins January 1st with
• Stop: Delivery timeline of around 6 months.
• BIFFUD Update Schedule: Monthly reports to BIFFUD should be expected.

Everyone should know everyone's:

1. Name
2. Address
3. Email
4. Phone number
5. Twitter handle
6. Github ID