Don't mind me. I'm just customizing my GitHub profile 'cause all the cool kids are doing it.
What's that? You want to know about me? 😳 Naw, I couldn't. Really, I-- Oh. Well. Yeah alright I guess. If you insist.
It all started when I was very young. My mom bought me shoes that would light up when I ran. And boy did I run. I ran in and out of schools and all up and down the dictionary. I almost won that spelling bee...
Excuse me? Too far back? Oh don't you worry. It's no skin off my nose. And speaking of noses:
My profile is a rather good one. Not too noble, not too common. It was actually featured on the program cover when I played Mr. Darcy in my high school's production of Pride and Prejudice.
I'm sorry, what? Come again? What do you mean that's the wrong profile? It's the only one I got! Granted, the left side is better than the right. And speaking of left and right:
I was pretty good at basketball. I could score on anyone with either hand. When I wasn't on the court, I was playing the piano or composing my musical. Ah Sibelius - left hand on the keyboard, right hand on the mouse. You'd think I was a gamer. Alright, I did dabble in that too from time to time. A little Age of Empires 2. Maybe some RuneScape...
What Now?? You got tea in your eye? Just deal with i--. Oh. Um sorry, I don't know what TMI is. But speaking of eyes:
20/20 vision enabled me to see straight past all the Greek and astronomy classes at BYU. Straight to what I really wanted. And man was she pretty.
I'M KIDDING!! Geez. I mean she was. But I was actually about to mention my first job:
Comp Sci 142 introduced me to the magical world of dark themes and syntax errors. I was hooked. For weeks my only sense of time was that 2014 had taken my world by storm. I quickly shot through C++, Java, HTML, CSS, JavaScript, PHP, Apache, MySQL. 3 months into the semester I landed my first job. I was gonna be a programmer.
Nerves were tight that first day. Did you know that 10/10 programmers with 3 months experience suffer imposter syndrome at work? Somebody asked me for my GitHub. And man. I wish I knew what GitHub was.
I was assigned to create an OAuth integration with the Canvas LMS. Yeah. Are you lost? Good 'cause I was and by the way Who Freaking Assigns A Noob To THAT???
After a week, my boss had regrets. Understandable. Fortunately he also had pity. He reassigned me to create a jQuery UI widget. A task I relished and, dare I say, excelled at. The rest is history.
I remember Bryan giving me tips during code review. A man whose name I can only assume was spelled with a "y" because my photographic memory seems to be latching on to that fact.
No, he wasn't pointy, more um ... the opposite if you know what I mean. Oh sorry, what? The point? I'm getting there!
The point is I learned to code well, got a better job within 8 months, got a better job 1.5 years after that, did freelance for a while, was offered an amazing remote job, and have been there ever since. There. Done. Happy? What? You wish there was more?? Cry me a river.
Did I learn something? Was it all for naught? ... Or was it ... nought? Perhaps the real victory was the friends we made along the way. Or the sappy memes we posted about making friends along the way, while all along being lonely programmers hungry for connection and sunlight and unprocessed food and...
I'm sorry, too close to home? Well mi casa su casa. And speaking of casa:
No, I'm done. Here, have badges:
Srsly say hello! 👋
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